Today I refer you to an old blog post which explains my sadness on this date. Yep, so many years later you would think I am better. And of course I am. But I allow myself a bit of wallowing this time each year. I wonder what it would be like to be mother of a 20 year old adult son - rather than memory keeper of my 18 month old baby boy. I will also pray that we don't lose Merlyn on this date although, with my sick sense of humor, I suggested to John perhaps it would be easier to just batch all tragic observances into one time frame.
Today I am driving to Louisville for the Cherokee Triangle show. If you're in the area, stop by and see me; I'd sure love to visit plus I am bringing cool stuff for you to see! I promise not to be sad. I'll be staying with my friend Marilyn which will be fun (yippee!) and so nice to be in a comfy setting rather than an impersonal hotel.
oh sweetie...my thoughts today are with you in all sorts of ways...
ReplyDeleteand have a great time in lousville...I love that town and used to go there often when we lived in newburgh {indiana}
mary beth...ooooh. teary, very teary. i did not know about your son, nathan. words don't begin to do it here. heart breaks and sad, sad, sad. i'm so sorry, mary beth. i, too, read the year of magical thinking. joan didion is an amazing writer to be able to put it all into words, all the things so many have felt and feared and been unable to share. it helps to lift the weight a bit to know we are not alone. my heart goes out to you, mary beth. and i send you much love.
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry MB. my brother passed away at 9 months...i can only imagine the internal pain that a mother goes through losing a child. i'm sure your angel is watching over his awesome, energetic, creative mother and smiling.
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