Thursday, April 09, 2009

Real Life Intervenes

It has taken me forever to write this post.
Somehow I can't find the right words.
Perhaps because I am blinded by tears rolling down my face.

This is a picture of my baby cat Merlyn. I say "baby cat" because he is our youngest. He is 13 years old. He is a lover. Completely unconditional with his hugs, kisses, purrs and kneads; he rubs my back when I can't sleep. Gives so much affection he is unlike any cat I have ever known. He has helped John and me through some horrifically tragic times in life.

And he now has cancer.
It is an ugly and aggressive cancer growing from his chin up into his mouth. It makes it tough for him to eat. Surgery is not possible due to the location of the cancer and chemo or radiation would be purely selfish on our part. There is no chance of survival.

So these days I am spending time with him. Coaxing him to eat. Providing a warm spot for him to sleep. Brushing his belly, grooming his face, just being with him.

I can not bear to think about it much. It's been many years since I have felt this much pain.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. ohhhh sweetie....your post brought tears to my eyes, too !

    Isn't it amazing how our 4 legged loves bring more to us than we can ever give back to them ?

    I'm so sorry you and john are going through biggest hugs and prayers are being sent your way....

  3. I love you, Merlyn. Hang tough, feel good and keep MB and John company for a while longer...

  4. sigh. i am so sorry mary beth, that is very sad news.
    thinking of you!
    my first best friend was a cat...i can't imagine living without furry babies in my life. i hope you get as much time as possible with Merlyn.

    it was so great to see you last week.
    take care dear. xooxoxo

  5. Oh Mary Beth, I am so sad for you. Like you, I love my animals beyond words. The only consolation I can think of is that I know that Merlyn knows how deep and powerful your love for him is, and that no matter what happens, the love between you will never end. That spirit of deep and abiding love stays always. You are such a warm and vibrant spirit (I took your Clayboard class at Artfest), your love will sustain you through this.

  6. That is one of the best pictures of Mer! He is a lover & I know that this is tough. Believe me, I know! All my love, RH

  7. Mary Beth,
    I am so sorry about this. I lost my dogs within a year of each other, and did sad art for a while. Good at least to have art, as an outlet for times like this.

    I do hope we can meet again and have a good chat, and I congratulate you on your classes at Artfest!
    The best to you,

  8. Oh, I am so very sorry! I will be thinking of you and sending warmth and hugs yoru way!

  9. oh mary beth,
    sending you love and strength on the wind...i can't think of anything that feels harder than being with a loved one who is dying.
    i'm grateful i had time to get to know you better at artfest and look forward to many more times together in the future. xoxo

  10. Oh no...I am so sorry for both of you. I know how hard it is. Homme, who died a few months ago, went through a three year battle. I would feed him anything that he might eat.

    After trying everything, I found out Trader joes had a canned food that he would actually eat and keep down.

    Best of luck and take care

  11. Oh my friend -- I am truly sorry to hear of this news and am sending you a big, big hug. I do understand your pain -- having to lose a pet is so very hard. My cats Miko and Luca passed a couple of years ago.

    Thinking of you.


  12. I am so sorry. Warm thoughts and prayers for you as you hold your precious one and walk through this together.

  13. I'm so sorry, Mary Beth.

  14. Is Merlyn a maine coone? He looks like it. We lost our baby Yaphet who looked just like Merlyn. It's tough.

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I am sending you strength to get through.

  15. I'm so sorry MB. Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.

  16. i'm so, so sorry. that just breaks my heart. this past week has been tough for people and for their pets. so many notes to pray for people and ask for healing. it is so hard to see those we love and know we cannot always be together just as we are. i'm so sorry, mary beth. sending love to you.


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