Monday, August 01, 2005

Where I left my heart

Ok, I know it's a song already, but sometimes I think I really did leave my heart in San Francisco. It is strange how I am so sad lately, literally pining away as though the City (we always capitalize "city" when referring to SF) were a lost lover. We went to see "Must Love Dogs" Friday night and there was a preview for an upcoming movie that had been filmed in SF. I got tears in my eyes just watching the preview as I recognized so many spots near our old house. I would say I am homesick except it isn't even my hometown and I only lived there for 5 years after all. But it penetrated my soul or more accurately, the City helped me discover my soul.

It is where I got the courage to "out" myself as an artist. It is where I learned how much I love nature and how I need to be around the water. Where I learned to use my own 2 feet as my primary mode of transportation and the Muni as my backup; I learned that I really don't like to drive so much anyway. I downsized my dwelling and never felt so free as I did with fewer possessions and less space. I learned to sleep with the sounds of the City, windows open nearly year round, no heating or cooling costs to speak of. I learned daily market type shopping, buy just what you need for one meal, after all you are carrying it home and the store is just a block away. It was such a different life than anything this suburban girl had ever experienced and I just breathed it in through every pore and was somehow nourished.

There is something magical about that city and I guess that is what I miss the most, other than my dear friends who, thank goodness, still communicate with me regularly. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to live there. I've been back in the Midwest almost 2 years and it is wonderful here, don't get me wrong. But my heart is still partially in San Francisco. I am thinking it's about time for me to buy a plane ticket.......hmmmm........

And in more local news, we have a woodpecker who drinks from our hummingbird feeder. The first time I saw him ( I am assuming it is a boy) he was standing on one of the feeder's perches right outside the window above our kitchen sink. I thought he was confused, but no, he put his beak down into the right place and started to drink. Then he went back for more. He is quite friendly really, stares right in the window at me and visits almost every day for his little sugar fix.

I have injured my hip and I am not sure how I did it. Possibly my run/walk program? But I have done this for years and I don't recall a specific incident or anything that would have caused this. My right hip just started aching like crazy maybe 2-3 weeks ago. Or possibly even longer. I have a little dose of my mom in me because I have always believed I should just "shake it off," and it will eventually go away. God forbid I go to a Dr. or anything like that. So I stopped walking for a few days but it didn't seem any better. So I resumed my walking and started stretching more, concentrating on hip flexor stuff. I got a massage but the therapist couldn't even reach the sore spot it is so deep within my hip, like the socket itself. Now it hurts after most everything, walking, running, sitting, sleeping, most everything I do. Tonight I went to Yoga and we did some wonderful stretching that really helped it a lot. In fact I was feeling pretty good which is why I didn't even think twice when we got to the balance postures. I did Eagle easily enough standing on my left leg, then switched to my right leg. Oh my goodness, I thought I was going down it hurt so badly. No other moves seemed to bother it, but that full weight bearing posture was a killer and I was semi-limping when I left. It even got a little worse after the drive out to help John babysit. I am now all cranked up on Advil and it is feeling better, but obviously not right. Stairs are bad; luckily we live on all 3 stories of our house.....ugh. I think I am going to really suck it up this time and take some time off all exercise and see if it gets any better. If not, I have a physical at the end of September and I will mention it to my Dr. I am also scheduled for a bone scan beings I am a small boned white woman with a family history of some Osteo stuff that I cannot recall the name of!?!? Oh, I think that would be Osteoporosis. This aging is a bitch.


  1. I get nostalgic for other places i've lived, esp. when it is so hot here. i really miss water. i feel so landlocked.

    have the chronic daily pain thing down real well now. ice & heat help a lot, space out the advil if your stomach is sensitive to too much of if. and unfortunately, sometimes you just have to sit still.

    hope you feel better soon.

  2. Anonymous10:55 PM

    Some things cannot be "shook off". September is not tomorrow. Just a suggestion, get in sooner, I think that you must realize is isn't just going away. Finding out what it is will free up a lot of the "wondering" and give you more room for the creating. It's a lot easier to work without worrying about taking a wrong step. Just some of my motherly advise. And since the osteoporisis or osteoarthritis does not go away, it could be quite beneficial to start the exercises and therapy needed. Not what you wanted to hear, but....

    On a lighter topic, have a great time in Chicago. Do you have specific flea markets you visit? It sounds really fun. Remember to come back...


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